Building the Right Team for Your Divorce


It’s crucial to find the right team members to help you get through your divorce.   I recommend working with people who have personalities who compliment yours and who will constantly be sure your case is heading in the direction to achieve your goals.  Divorce can be emotional, expensive, and extremely confusing.  Having the right team members in your cheering section can ease the difficulties.  Finding cheerleaders you can lean on, ask for professional guidance, and address your concerns is important.  The right team for your divorce can make all the difference.

Chose Teammates Who Have Your Best Interests

My main piece of advice is meeting with everyone on your team in person prior to officially having them jump aboard your ship.  Most professionals possess the competency to do their job. So, I recommend really looking deeper into each relationship and envisioning how they could be an asset to you.  Be sure to get a feel for their communication style or general approach to handling cases such as yours. Give a little background information so they can get an idea of what issues you will need to focus on.
Building the right team will ease the feelings of doubt and allow you to smoothly turn the page into a new chapter of life. Your divorce team should help you navigate the rocky terrain ahead and hold your hand if necessary.  They need to realize the importance of being there for you every step of the way. Be sure to effectively communicate your needs to each team member so your expectations are clear from the beginning. Only chose teammates who truly want to help and have your best interests at heart.

What Members Make Up the Right Team for Your Divorce?

Here are specific things to look for in each member of your “divorce team”.

Family Law Therapist

A family law therapist is trained to listen to your concerns and teach you the tools to cope with the stress, anxiety, and anger that often come with divorce.  Typically clients who are seeing a therapist regularly during a divorce are able to emotionally process their divorce better and keep sight of the end goal.  There are many things that become distracting throughout the divorce process. Divorce can be complex and difficult to navigate alone.  Friends are great to lean on but not often helpful in finding a constructive resolution.  Divorce rarely goes as expected so it is a good idea to have someone you can count on when random things pop up.  Family law therapists help people process similar issues all day and are truly the experts in helping find peace in a gloomy situation.

Divorce Attorney

Obviously, we recommend hiring an attorney to help direct you through the court system. Although you can represent yourself, there are many advantages to hiring an experienced divorce attorney.  People are often hesitant due to the expense, but communicating this concern to your attorney can help. Tell your attorney you want to do your best to save on litigation costs. They will likely recommend tactics such as working out smaller issues with your spouse outside of the courtroom or through mediation.
I always recommend meeting with your attorney in person prior to retaining them so you can put a face with a name.  Just talking with someone for 30 minutes, can truly get you a solid feel for their communication style and character.  If you know you are headed for a contested divorce, you will you need a powerful, strong advocate by your side. If you believe you and your spouse will be able to work most of the main issues, you may prefer an attorney who takes a more collaborative approach to divorce and constantly strives to work towards an agreement.

Family Law Judge

Although you cannot select your Judge, getting on their good side will definitely benefit your case. You can do this by asking your attorney what the Judge prefers or just general questions of what to wear and how to act in the courtroom.  After some time, judges do get to know the litigants. They remember the good and the bad.  Some even take down notes of random things they want to remember. Showing a judge that you are reasonable and want to be civil, can go a long way.  If you are not meshing with your Judge, you get one opportunity to request a new judge without providing a reason in Cook County. When doing this, you want to keep in mind, having a new judge will often mean starting from scratch.  You may have to continually remind the new judge of significant facts that have happened in the past. This could be a good or bad strategy for your case.

Supportive Friends and Family

Surrounding yourself with loved ones who will support you no matter what is key in a divorce. These are the people who are often most helpful because they’ve seen you at all stages in your life and truly want the best for you.

Guardian At Litem 

If you have children involved in the divorce, you will need Guardian At Litem.
If you have a Guardian At Litem (“GAL”) assigned to your case, it is imperative that you have a good relationship with them and demonstrate that you are a quality parent.  It can be crucial in determining the time you get to spend with your kids because the GAL provides recommendations to the Judge which are often taken.
Building the right team will help you take on this difficult experience and turn it into an empowering adventure. Take your time through the process of selecting team members and keep your main goals in sight.
If you’re ready to speak with an experienced Chicago divorce lawyer contact Anderson & Boback. Taking that first step to speak with an attorney about your situation can help you start the process right with a strong advocate at your side.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Divorced Parents Disagree About the COVID-19 Vaccine 

Image
  There is a lot of disagreement about vaccinations for children and the argument between parents with differing views on this subject is not a new one.  Illinois family law attorneys representing parents in this type of disagreement have worked throughout the years to avoid the problem in its entirety by addressing the issue of vaccination in the parenting agreement, now called an Allocation Judgment.  A prior agreement on how to handle vaccinations will give clarity as parents deal with the COVID-19 vaccine.   COVID-19 Vaccine Questions from Divorced Parents There are a number of questions and co-parenting issues surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine. Here are five of the most frequently asked questions we are seeing in our Chicago family law practice: 1. What If the Other Parent Will Not Get the COVID-19 Vaccine? We just saw a judge in Cook County strip a mother of her parenting time because she had not received the COVID-19 vaccine.  The parents were before...
Read more

Illinois Law Update – Can a Guardian Ad Litem Speak to a Therapist in My Case?

Image
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in recent years gave the courts in Illinois the authority to order therapy for a minor child, family counseling for one or more of the parties and the child, or parental education for one or more of the parties if it finds that the parents or all parties agree, that the child’s physical health is endangered or that the child’s emotional development is impaired, or that an abuse of allocated parenting time has occurred, or, one or both of the parties violated the judgment with regard to conduct affecting or in the presence of the minor child.  {See 750 ILCS 5/607.6 regarding same}.  However, the same statute previously explicitly indicated that all therapy would be confidential. As of August 13, 2021, Illinois enacted Public Act 102-349, and the statute is now modified.  It no longer has a provision stating that therapy would be strictly confidential.  This kept all information obtained by a Guardian Ad Litem fro...
Read more

Changes to the Illinois Child Relocation Statute in Family Law for 2022

Image
  Oftentimes while a family law case is pending, parents will need or want to move with their minor children . The child relocation law in Illinois as of 2021 indicated that you need to seek approval for relocation from the Court if you want to move your minor child(ren) more than 25 miles away from their current residence. However, under the Illinois statute, as written in 2021, it indicates that “a parent who has been allocated a majority of parenting time or either parent who has been allocated equal parenting time may seek to relocate with a child.”  Judges and attorneys have interpreted this section to mean that until a parenting time schedule is in place, a parent cannot seek relocation, because it is unknown if that parent has the “majority” of parenting time or “equal” parenting time, until, at a minimum, there is a parenting time schedule in a custody order.  New Temporary Child Relocation Law Many Judges have also been interpreting the child relocation law to ...
Read more