Building the Right Team for Your Divorce


It’s crucial to find the right team members to help you get through your divorce.   I recommend working with people who have personalities who compliment yours and who will constantly be sure your case is heading in the direction to achieve your goals.  Divorce can be emotional, expensive, and extremely confusing.  Having the right team members in your cheering section can ease the difficulties.  Finding cheerleaders you can lean on, ask for professional guidance, and address your concerns is important.  The right team for your divorce can make all the difference.

Chose Teammates Who Have Your Best Interests

My main piece of advice is meeting with everyone on your team in person prior to officially having them jump aboard your ship.  Most professionals possess the competency to do their job. So, I recommend really looking deeper into each relationship and envisioning how they could be an asset to you.  Be sure to get a feel for their communication style or general approach to handling cases such as yours. Give a little background information so they can get an idea of what issues you will need to focus on.
Building the right team will ease the feelings of doubt and allow you to smoothly turn the page into a new chapter of life. Your divorce team should help you navigate the rocky terrain ahead and hold your hand if necessary.  They need to realize the importance of being there for you every step of the way. Be sure to effectively communicate your needs to each team member so your expectations are clear from the beginning. Only chose teammates who truly want to help and have your best interests at heart.

What Members Make Up the Right Team for Your Divorce?

Here are specific things to look for in each member of your “divorce team”.

Family Law Therapist

A family law therapist is trained to listen to your concerns and teach you the tools to cope with the stress, anxiety, and anger that often come with divorce.  Typically clients who are seeing a therapist regularly during a divorce are able to emotionally process their divorce better and keep sight of the end goal.  There are many things that become distracting throughout the divorce process. Divorce can be complex and difficult to navigate alone.  Friends are great to lean on but not often helpful in finding a constructive resolution.  Divorce rarely goes as expected so it is a good idea to have someone you can count on when random things pop up.  Family law therapists help people process similar issues all day and are truly the experts in helping find peace in a gloomy situation.

Divorce Attorney

Obviously, we recommend hiring an attorney to help direct you through the court system. Although you can represent yourself, there are many advantages to hiring an experienced divorce attorney.  People are often hesitant due to the expense, but communicating this concern to your attorney can help. Tell your attorney you want to do your best to save on litigation costs. They will likely recommend tactics such as working out smaller issues with your spouse outside of the courtroom or through mediation.
I always recommend meeting with your attorney in person prior to retaining them so you can put a face with a name.  Just talking with someone for 30 minutes, can truly get you a solid feel for their communication style and character.  If you know you are headed for a contested divorce, you will you need a powerful, strong advocate by your side. If you believe you and your spouse will be able to work most of the main issues, you may prefer an attorney who takes a more collaborative approach to divorce and constantly strives to work towards an agreement.

Family Law Judge

Although you cannot select your Judge, getting on their good side will definitely benefit your case. You can do this by asking your attorney what the Judge prefers or just general questions of what to wear and how to act in the courtroom.  After some time, judges do get to know the litigants. They remember the good and the bad.  Some even take down notes of random things they want to remember. Showing a judge that you are reasonable and want to be civil, can go a long way.  If you are not meshing with your Judge, you get one opportunity to request a new judge without providing a reason in Cook County. When doing this, you want to keep in mind, having a new judge will often mean starting from scratch.  You may have to continually remind the new judge of significant facts that have happened in the past. This could be a good or bad strategy for your case.

Supportive Friends and Family

Surrounding yourself with loved ones who will support you no matter what is key in a divorce. These are the people who are often most helpful because they’ve seen you at all stages in your life and truly want the best for you.

Guardian At Litem 

If you have children involved in the divorce, you will need Guardian At Litem.
If you have a Guardian At Litem (“GAL”) assigned to your case, it is imperative that you have a good relationship with them and demonstrate that you are a quality parent.  It can be crucial in determining the time you get to spend with your kids because the GAL provides recommendations to the Judge which are often taken.
Building the right team will help you take on this difficult experience and turn it into an empowering adventure. Take your time through the process of selecting team members and keep your main goals in sight.
If you’re ready to speak with an experienced Chicago divorce lawyer contact Anderson & Boback. Taking that first step to speak with an attorney about your situation can help you start the process right with a strong advocate at your side.

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