New Year, New You! Parenting Tips For Divorced Parents



One of the common parenting mistakes a child of divorced parents makes is relative to that dreaded question: “Do I HAVE to go?”

Divorced parents or parents that have never been married hear this hear this question all too often. Hearing your child ask that question time and again can certainly get old after a while.

Divorced Parents Should Support a Child’s Bond With the Other Parent

However, in most scenarios, it is best to encourage your children to attend parenting time with their other parent. This is quality time which helps them bond (or remain bonded to) the other parent. It also ensures that you are not held in contempt of court for violating a parenting order. You can also be accused of alienating your child from the other parent, or guilty of visitation interference, which is a crime in Illinois. The bottom line is that the court order must be followed, both to keep you protected, as well as for your children’s best interests.

Here are a few more helpful tips for divorced parents to remember while parenting a child of divorce in 2019:

1. DO NOT TALK BADLY ABOUT YOUR EX.

Just do not do it, ever.

Your children pick up everything you do, from the tone in your voice to body language, and if you don’t like your ex, I can guarantee you that they already know it. You don’t need to remind them of your dislike for the other parent they love.

2. DO NOT TALK BADLY ABOUT YOUR EX’S NEW SIGNIFICANT OTHER, FAMILY, FRIENDS, ETC.

Just like the rationale in tip #1, the same advice applies here. Just don’t do it. Believe me, you are not making this situation any easier on your children by reinforcing what they already know.

3. BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD TO TALK TO OR HAVE SOMEONE AVAILABLE.

This could be a therapist, an older cousin, an older sibling, a trusted close friend, an aunt, an uncle, a teacher, someone. Your child needs an outlet to talk to about the things they cannot discuss with you, as they get older. It is healthy and having a neutral third party can help them work through their emotions, especially regarding things they may not want to discuss with you.

4. TRY TO GET ALONG WITH YOUR EX.

This is not realistic in every scenario, for obvious reasons. However, you would be surprised at how liberating it can be for everyone to get along and push through the drama. The best tip for divorced parents or parents that are no longer together is to put the past behind you, so you can put your best foot forward in this new year!

Co-parenting after a divorce or break up presents added challenges to parenting, especially when your child does not want to attend parenting time. Contact Anderson & Boback if you have questions about parenting time or other concerns that arise for divorced parents.

THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT:  https://illinoislawforyou.com/parenting-time/divorced-parents-parenting-tips-2019/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Divorced Parents Disagree About the COVID-19 Vaccine 

Image
  There is a lot of disagreement about vaccinations for children and the argument between parents with differing views on this subject is not a new one.  Illinois family law attorneys representing parents in this type of disagreement have worked throughout the years to avoid the problem in its entirety by addressing the issue of vaccination in the parenting agreement, now called an Allocation Judgment.  A prior agreement on how to handle vaccinations will give clarity as parents deal with the COVID-19 vaccine.   COVID-19 Vaccine Questions from Divorced Parents There are a number of questions and co-parenting issues surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine. Here are five of the most frequently asked questions we are seeing in our Chicago family law practice: 1. What If the Other Parent Will Not Get the COVID-19 Vaccine? We just saw a judge in Cook County strip a mother of her parenting time because she had not received the COVID-19 vaccine.  The parents were before...
Read more

Illinois Law Update – Can a Guardian Ad Litem Speak to a Therapist in My Case?

Image
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in recent years gave the courts in Illinois the authority to order therapy for a minor child, family counseling for one or more of the parties and the child, or parental education for one or more of the parties if it finds that the parents or all parties agree, that the child’s physical health is endangered or that the child’s emotional development is impaired, or that an abuse of allocated parenting time has occurred, or, one or both of the parties violated the judgment with regard to conduct affecting or in the presence of the minor child.  {See 750 ILCS 5/607.6 regarding same}.  However, the same statute previously explicitly indicated that all therapy would be confidential. As of August 13, 2021, Illinois enacted Public Act 102-349, and the statute is now modified.  It no longer has a provision stating that therapy would be strictly confidential.  This kept all information obtained by a Guardian Ad Litem fro...
Read more

Changes to the Illinois Child Relocation Statute in Family Law for 2022

Image
  Oftentimes while a family law case is pending, parents will need or want to move with their minor children . The child relocation law in Illinois as of 2021 indicated that you need to seek approval for relocation from the Court if you want to move your minor child(ren) more than 25 miles away from their current residence. However, under the Illinois statute, as written in 2021, it indicates that “a parent who has been allocated a majority of parenting time or either parent who has been allocated equal parenting time may seek to relocate with a child.”  Judges and attorneys have interpreted this section to mean that until a parenting time schedule is in place, a parent cannot seek relocation, because it is unknown if that parent has the “majority” of parenting time or “equal” parenting time, until, at a minimum, there is a parenting time schedule in a custody order.  New Temporary Child Relocation Law Many Judges have also been interpreting the child relocation law to ...
Read more