The Right Parenting Schedule For Your Family


Setting a parenting schedule can be one of the biggest, most stressful issues that arise if you are getting divorced and children are involved in the relationship. The key is creating a parenting schedule that is most conducive to everyone involved which means you, especially your children, any other caretakers (babysitters, grandparents, etc.), and yes… even your ex. Think about it…your ex will be much more pleasant to deal with if he or she is relatively happy. You just have to find a happy medium.

Parenting Schedules – Things to Consider

There are many different options for parenting schedules. For example, you could do:
  • every other day;
  • one week on/one week off;
  • 3 night with one parent and 4 nights with the other;
  • the primary parent gets kids during the school week and alternate weekends;
  • a parent who only had weekends with the children could get the children for a few dinners during the week; etc.
The list of scheduling scenarios goes on and on. When determining a schedule that’s best for your it’s typically most important to keep the ages of kids in mind. The older your children get, the more activities they have and the more unpredictable their schedules become. Once kids start reaching 8 and 9 years old they want to spend more and more time with friends. This can be disappointing for the parent who only gets weekend time or doesn’t get as much time but as the other parent, you just have to take a step back and look again at the best interest of your children. Socializing with peers is imperative to their success in life.

Parenting Schedule Logistics

WHAT TIME DOES SOCCER PRACTICE END AGAIN?

Who’s picking up who?
What time does practice end?
What times does dad get off work?

Schedules can get crazy so keeping a calendar is always a good idea. I recommend creating a Google calendar that can be color coordinated and easily share with whoever needs access. All the details of the events can be logged into the entry and invites can be sent out that way too. There’s lots of room for notes and comments. You can also create repeating events easily or calculate which weekends each parent gets if you are looking at dates far into the future. It’s a good way to avoid confusion.
If you do keep an online calendar, make sure you check it every day and keep it updated.

Mediation – We Can’t Agree, Now What?

Mediation is usually suggested for parties to work through different scenarios and discuss their options. Trained family law mediators typically have some creative ideas that can help resolve scheduling issues. With the vast number of families they help, they’ve seen it all.

Court Ordered Parenting Schedules – What Happens If We Can’t Decide?

If you truly cannot come to an agreement with your ex and efforts to mediate does not help. The courts will, unfortunately, be forced to determine the parenting schedule for you. The court will either give you and/or your attorney the opportunity to argue your position, and after hearing all the testimony and evidence, a judge will make the final decision.
This is usually not the most favorable outcome for either party because although the Judge attempts to find the best solution, he/she is not the one living it day in and day out. They usually just make a quick decision that appears most reasonable. I recommend avoiding this and trying your best to reach an agreement. If you attempt the Judge’s ordered schedule and it is not working, you can still try to come to reach an agreement with your ex and go back to court to request a change.

Calendars Constantly Change – Be Flexible!

Schedules can be hard to keep up with especially when they change. As kids get older, their schedules seem to get more and more packed. Don’t forget that just because you set a schedule it doesn’t mean it won’t ever change. You constantly have to make adjustments to keep up with what works best. Jobs changes, school schedules adjust during holidays, people move, and summers create even more options.

Summer Is a Great Opportunity for Quality Time

Summertime is typically a good time to take advantage of quality time. Maybe do one week on and one week off since school is out and you can do more fun outdoor activities with your kids. They grow up fast so be sure to really soak up the sun with them. All these factors can cause the need to sit down with your child’s other parent and discuss what works best right now.

My biggest piece of advice is to try your hardest to work together with your ex because it will (1) make your life less stressful, and (2) it’s good to show your children you can work together. Your kids are always watching both of their parents so show them you can work things out and doing what’s in their best interest is the primary concern. Create a positive environment for your family.

THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/parenting-time/ight-parenting-schedule-family/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Divorced Parents Disagree About the COVID-19 Vaccine 

Image
  There is a lot of disagreement about vaccinations for children and the argument between parents with differing views on this subject is not a new one.  Illinois family law attorneys representing parents in this type of disagreement have worked throughout the years to avoid the problem in its entirety by addressing the issue of vaccination in the parenting agreement, now called an Allocation Judgment.  A prior agreement on how to handle vaccinations will give clarity as parents deal with the COVID-19 vaccine.   COVID-19 Vaccine Questions from Divorced Parents There are a number of questions and co-parenting issues surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine. Here are five of the most frequently asked questions we are seeing in our Chicago family law practice: 1. What If the Other Parent Will Not Get the COVID-19 Vaccine? We just saw a judge in Cook County strip a mother of her parenting time because she had not received the COVID-19 vaccine.  The parents were before...
Read more

Illinois Law Update – Can a Guardian Ad Litem Speak to a Therapist in My Case?

Image
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in recent years gave the courts in Illinois the authority to order therapy for a minor child, family counseling for one or more of the parties and the child, or parental education for one or more of the parties if it finds that the parents or all parties agree, that the child’s physical health is endangered or that the child’s emotional development is impaired, or that an abuse of allocated parenting time has occurred, or, one or both of the parties violated the judgment with regard to conduct affecting or in the presence of the minor child.  {See 750 ILCS 5/607.6 regarding same}.  However, the same statute previously explicitly indicated that all therapy would be confidential. As of August 13, 2021, Illinois enacted Public Act 102-349, and the statute is now modified.  It no longer has a provision stating that therapy would be strictly confidential.  This kept all information obtained by a Guardian Ad Litem fro...
Read more

Changes to the Illinois Child Relocation Statute in Family Law for 2022

Image
  Oftentimes while a family law case is pending, parents will need or want to move with their minor children . The child relocation law in Illinois as of 2021 indicated that you need to seek approval for relocation from the Court if you want to move your minor child(ren) more than 25 miles away from their current residence. However, under the Illinois statute, as written in 2021, it indicates that “a parent who has been allocated a majority of parenting time or either parent who has been allocated equal parenting time may seek to relocate with a child.”  Judges and attorneys have interpreted this section to mean that until a parenting time schedule is in place, a parent cannot seek relocation, because it is unknown if that parent has the “majority” of parenting time or “equal” parenting time, until, at a minimum, there is a parenting time schedule in a custody order.  New Temporary Child Relocation Law Many Judges have also been interpreting the child relocation law to ...
Read more