HELP! I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom and Getting Divorced



If you have been married for several years and spent your married life as a stay-at-home mom taking care of your family and realize you are facing a divorce, there is no reason to panic.  Your efforts of caring for your home and family will not be ignored by the Court and is not discouraged by the laws in Illinois.  Every case, of course, is fact-specific and the outcome of your case will be dependent on the facts in your specific marriage.   As an example, a stay-at-home mom who has a Ph.D. and previous work history may likely have a different divorce outcome than a stay-at-home mom who has no advanced degree and no job experience.  The length of your marriage is also important, as in the previous example a stay-at-home mom who has been home for the past two years is likely to turn out differently than a stay-at-home mom who has been home for ten years.  

5 Tips for a Stay-at-Home Mom Facing Divorce

If you find yourself facing divorce as a stay-at-home mom, it is important to understand your family's financial picture and plan for your future after the divorce.  It is important when going through a divorce to be able to articulate to your attorney and the court what your reasonable needs are, so it is important to begin an investigation as to what your needs have been in the past and how things may look in your future.  If you have overseen paying the bills and managing your marital finances, then you will have a good idea of where you stand and how much money it takes to run your household.  However, if you are not involved in the financial operations of your household then you will have to start doing some investigative work.

Divorce Tip #1:  Start gathering documents. 

The more information you can gather and share with your divorce attorney the better for you to work with your attorney in making decisions.  The important documents to get together are as follows:

  • Your personal tax returns (at least the last three years)
  • Paystubs if your spouse is a W-2 wage earner
  • If you and/or your spouse own a business you will need the business tax returns and other income statements relating to the business
  • Bank Statements 
  • Retirement and Investment Accounts
  • Mortgage and any other loan documents
  • Credit Cards Accounts (information and recent statements)

Divorce Tip #2: Prepare a budget. 

Know what you have been spending to run your household so that you can understand what you will need to continue living after you are divorced.   You need to know what you will need to know what to ask for as far as maintenance and child support from your spouse.  If you are going to be moving from the marital home, you should determine where you will likely be moving and do the research as to what is available and how much will it cost so that you can do an outline of a potential budget in your new home.  On the other hand, if you are going to plan on staying in the marital home the budget that you create will allow you to determine how much money you will need when your spouse is no longer in the house contributing to the expenses. 

Divorce Tip #3: Understand and know your credit score. 

You should immediately order a copy of your credit report from one of the key credit reporting agencies (Experian, etc.) and review the report in detail.  Make sure you are aware of all of the credit cards and debts listed and that the debts reflected on your credit report are being paid on time. If there are things on your credit report that you are unaware of you can work with your divorce attorney to make sure you obtain the supporting documents on those debts. You will need to make sure you can control your credit score moving forward.  If you do not have much on your credit score and need to increase your credit you can take steps to get your score up which will help you after the divorce when you will be applying for things based on your own income and your individual credit score. 

Divorce Tip #4: Decide how you would like things to look after the divorce and work with a qualified attorney to create a plan to get you there.  

What is most important to you and how to get there is a critical piece of the planning process.  You need to consider the following and rate in terms of importance:

Divorce Tip #5:  Think about returning to work and what that may look like. 

Do you need to go back to school for a degree, a certificate or training?  If so, you will want to research the availability of a college or program and the costs so that you can build that into your financial need.  If you are of an age where you can rehabilitate and become employable it is a good idea to think in terms of becoming self-supporting, but it will take some research and decisions about your future.

THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/help-im-a-stay-at-home-mom-and-getting-divorced/ 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When Divorced Parents Disagree About the COVID-19 Vaccine 

Image
  There is a lot of disagreement about vaccinations for children and the argument between parents with differing views on this subject is not a new one.  Illinois family law attorneys representing parents in this type of disagreement have worked throughout the years to avoid the problem in its entirety by addressing the issue of vaccination in the parenting agreement, now called an Allocation Judgment.  A prior agreement on how to handle vaccinations will give clarity as parents deal with the COVID-19 vaccine.   COVID-19 Vaccine Questions from Divorced Parents There are a number of questions and co-parenting issues surrounding the COVID-19 vaccine. Here are five of the most frequently asked questions we are seeing in our Chicago family law practice: 1. What If the Other Parent Will Not Get the COVID-19 Vaccine? We just saw a judge in Cook County strip a mother of her parenting time because she had not received the COVID-19 vaccine.  The parents were before...
Read more

Illinois Law Update – Can a Guardian Ad Litem Speak to a Therapist in My Case?

Image
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act in recent years gave the courts in Illinois the authority to order therapy for a minor child, family counseling for one or more of the parties and the child, or parental education for one or more of the parties if it finds that the parents or all parties agree, that the child’s physical health is endangered or that the child’s emotional development is impaired, or that an abuse of allocated parenting time has occurred, or, one or both of the parties violated the judgment with regard to conduct affecting or in the presence of the minor child.  {See 750 ILCS 5/607.6 regarding same}.  However, the same statute previously explicitly indicated that all therapy would be confidential. As of August 13, 2021, Illinois enacted Public Act 102-349, and the statute is now modified.  It no longer has a provision stating that therapy would be strictly confidential.  This kept all information obtained by a Guardian Ad Litem fro...
Read more

Changes to the Illinois Child Relocation Statute in Family Law for 2022

Image
  Oftentimes while a family law case is pending, parents will need or want to move with their minor children . The child relocation law in Illinois as of 2021 indicated that you need to seek approval for relocation from the Court if you want to move your minor child(ren) more than 25 miles away from their current residence. However, under the Illinois statute, as written in 2021, it indicates that “a parent who has been allocated a majority of parenting time or either parent who has been allocated equal parenting time may seek to relocate with a child.”  Judges and attorneys have interpreted this section to mean that until a parenting time schedule is in place, a parent cannot seek relocation, because it is unknown if that parent has the “majority” of parenting time or “equal” parenting time, until, at a minimum, there is a parenting time schedule in a custody order.  New Temporary Child Relocation Law Many Judges have also been interpreting the child relocation law to ...
Read more